All my life I have been a high achiever. In high school one teacher called me the energizer bunny, because I was an officer in two clubs, made the honor role, took a bunch of AP classes and did a serous amount of charity work. I was that annoying kid who looked down at others with sympathy and a sense of superiority for not doing more, and looking up at the others who were doing more feeling like a loser. Yep, I was a self righteous rhymes with itch.
Then my world fell apart. I couldn’t get out of bed for weeks at a time. I seriously contemplated suicide. If I got out of bed and brushed my teeth, it took a heroic amount of effort. I told myself that I was being ridiculous, weak, and lazy. I just needed to knuckle down and power through it. Guess what, it didn’t work.
It took me along time to realize that trying to be that annoying over achiever while trying to get better at the same time was not working. I was just getting worse and my school work and job performance where horrible. So I did something incredible difficult. I did nothing.
So simple, but sometimes doing nothing for me was terrifying. And yet, if I hadn’t I never would have gotten to a better. I would not have been able to go back to school and stick with it, or get a job and feel proud of the work I accomplished. Sometimes you need to take a break, but admitting that to yourself can be incredibly difficult.
What do you do when you have no idea where your life is going?
If you have the answer, let me know.